Friday, July 25, 2014

The Songs of the Billboard Top 10 in Their Simplest Meaning



Music is full of metaphors and florid language, but sometimes it's just nice to get straight to the point. In that spirit,  let's take a look at the current Billboard top 10 and break them down to their simplest meaning.

1.  Magic - Rude

Simplest Meaning: "I just want to bang your daughter so stop being a dick about it"

I can't stress how much I hate this song.  It's rude to my ears and I don't blame the father for wanting to keep this guy away from his daughter.  I wouldn't want a canadian playing reggae guy anywhere near my daughter either.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

U.S. Roster for 2014 World Cup: Pop Culture Breakdown


With the World Cup starting today,  it would be ideal to get to know the players on the U.S. World Cup roster.  If you want a serious breakdown, I suggest checking out this detailed Sports Illustrated roster run down.

But if you want to have a little more fun with the roster, here's a pop culture breakdown of the U.S. roster.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Last Five Songs I Heard in the Supermarket



It's that time again to recap musical selections of supermarkets.  Here are the last five songs that I've heard while shopping in the supermarket:

1. Mary J. Blige - Real Love

This song is almost too good to be played in the supermarket.  It was distracting enough that I actually forgot to buy some things on my list.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Terrifying New Mascots for Lemonheads and Mcdonald's Happy Meal


This has been a bad week to be a child as Lemonheads and Mcdonald's introduced creepy new mascots Lemonhead and Happy respectively.

Apparently market research determined that brand ambassadors who inspire fear are a good idea.

They both look like characters out of Goosebumps books,  but I think Lemonhead is the more disturbing mascot.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Disney Movie Character NFL Draft Profiles



If you haven't read Josh Levin's superhero draft profile over at Slate yet, then it is highly recommended that you do.  Inspired by Levin's article and the second day of the NFL draft, here are some NFL draft profiles on Disney movie characters.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Five Songs About Sunshine



For some reason, sunshine happens to be a fairly popular song topic.  It could be that sunshine is an effective metaphor for happiness and artists don't feel like coming up with new ones.

It's getting warmer so here are five songs about sunshine.

Len - Steal My Sunshine

Clearly the most ridiculous sunshine song on this list.  There's just so many strange things going on with this song and video:  nonsensical lyrics, a pseudo orange scooter gang, weird people.

I don't know what their sunshine is or who stole it, but I don't want any part of it.  They should have been more concerned about someone stealing their musical career as they were never heard from again.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Random Song of the Week: Tonic - "If You Could Only See"



Even though you're more likely to hear Tonic's "If You Could Only See" in a department store,  I randomly heard the song on the radio this week.

The band's status as a one hit wonder is not all that surprising. The song is straight up generic 90s rock that hasn't really aged well.

Not only is the video weird, but Tonic's lead singer says he wrote the song in response to his parents disapproving of him dating an older woman.

Maybe that accounts for the song's bi-polar nature as the cheesy "hard rock" parts come out of nowhere.

My biggest take away is that the lead singer kind of looks like Irish actor Colm Meaney or as I like to call him: Potatoes O'Brien.