Friday, November 27, 2009

R. Kelly Just Wants to Get You Pregnant

R. Kelly has done it again.  This time he has a song called "Pregnant," and it's as bad as you think it is.

You really won't believe some of the lyrics here.  Nobody demeans women quite like Kelly as he describes meeting a woman at a club and croons "Never felt nothing like this,  she's more than a mistress, bout to handle my business then put that girl in my kitchen."

If that's not good enough, he pounds the point home with a chorus consisting of him singing " Girl you make me want to get you pregnant... Knock you up, knock you up."

Link to song after jump.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Kay This is Not How You Sell Jewelry

I can't believe this is a Kay Jewelers commercial because I thought for sure it was one for a horror or serial killer movie.  Maybe they should change their slogan to "every murder begins with Kay."

Nobody should trust this creepy sounding guy who just happens to take his girlfriend/wife up to a secluded cabin during a thunderstorm.  I'm sure it's just a coincidence that nobody can hear you scream up there too.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sports Cameramen Kind of Racist

This has never made sense to me.  When a minority athlete is playing a sport, why does the cameraman always find a fan of the same minority group to focus on?  It's kind of offensive/racist.

The sport that's guilty of this more than any other is baseball.  A prime example are the at-bats of New York Yankees player Hideki Matsui.    The camera always manages to find some person of Asian decent to focus in on.  Even if there's only one in the whole crowd.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

That's Not a Real Medical Condition

This is really weird, but the The London Telegraph reports that a 55-year-old Taiwanese man tricked up to 20 women into having sex with him in an elaborate scam where he posed as both a handsome young man and that man's ailing father.

Now you're probably thinking this must have been one brilliant guy to pull off a scheme like this, but you'd be wrong.  It's really just a case of 20 extremely stupid women.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Meep is Banned reports that a Massachusetts principle has banned the word "Meep" after students kept using it to interrupt school.  My first instinct is to say that these kids are awesome because this is one of the greatest things I've ever heard.  Just imagining teachers trying to talk and getting interrupted by "Meeps," cracks me up.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Wanna Sex You Up

There aren't many things that embody the early 90s better than Color Me Badd and their song "I Wanna Sex You Up."  It has it all: cheesy 90s mustaches, bad clothing and outdated technology references.  In fact, Color Me Badd was clearly the inspiration for this classic video.

Watching the "I Wanna Sex You Up," video is always funny for numerous reasons.  First, it's clear that they just watched a bunch porn and modeled their video after it.  The whole video is them having sex with women in workplace environments while two women can't get enough of watching it all on video monitors or on their home TV.  Tell me, that's not something right out of porn.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Ian Mckellan Suffers with the Idiots on The View

Courtesy of the LA Times,  Ian Mckellan's painful experience on"The View" last week.  Mckellan appeared on the show to promote "The Prisoner,"  an upcoming AMC series that premiers on November 15th.

I thought I knew nothing about "The Prisoner" until someone explained the premise to me, and I realized "The Simpsons" had parodied it in a season 12 episode called "The Computer Wore Menace Shoes" (Sorry no clip because Hulu doesn't have it, and most other Simpsons clips don't work).  That only reinforces  my theory that everything in life can be related back to "The Simpsons," although I'll talk about that another time.

Video after the jump.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Fabolous Ruined the Economy

The rapper Fabolous has a song  called "Throw it in the Bag" in which he boasts about having so much money that he doesn't need to look at the price so you can just throw it in the bag.  Really, Fabolous? You think it's a great idea to perpetuate the idea that it's cool to just buy whatever you want without looking at the tag?

 I think that's how we ruined the economy in the first place because people were buying tons of stuff they couldn't afford.  Now all these kids are going to think it will be cool to buy expensive things with no disregard for money.  Fabolous even says, "F**k the price just throw it in the bag."

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Cheaters is Fake

Most likely you've at least heard of, if not seen the syndicated reality show "Cheaters."  Nobody really intends to watch "Cheaters," but it's 2 am, nothing else is on, and you're either too drunk, tired, or lazy to change the channel. 

Basically, a man or woman hires the show to conduct surveillance on their partner because they believe that he or she is cheating on them (of course they always are).   The real fun starts when sleazy host Johnny Grecco forces the client to watch video footage of the cheating, and pushes them to confront the cheater who gets caught in the act.  During this confrontation, Grecco further incites the situation by saying things such as " You're gonna let him/her treat you like this?" and other inflammatory remarks.

The conflict then devolves into a succession of expletives and physical violence that's quite entertaining (hey don't judge me, it's 2 am).  It's like a goldmine of late night television.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Christopher Walken Does Lady Gaga's Poker Face

Oh yeah, it's just as amazing as you would think it would be.  The only way it could have been better was if Walken did this as well.  You have to give the British credit though,  they always seem to get celebrities to do more crazy stuff  than they usually do for us.  I think it's because they're constantly  encouraging guests to drink during their shows. 

Does this count as the second time a man has performed this song since nobody really knows what Lady Gaga is?  Although not current, this also would have been a good song for Walken to perform.