Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Wanna Sex You Up


There aren't many things that embody the early 90s better than Color Me Badd and their song "I Wanna Sex You Up."  It has it all: cheesy 90s mustaches, bad clothing and outdated technology references.  In fact, Color Me Badd was clearly the inspiration for this classic video.

Watching the "I Wanna Sex You Up," video is always funny for numerous reasons.  First, it's clear that they just watched a bunch porn and modeled their video after it.  The whole video is them having sex with women in workplace environments while two women can't get enough of watching it all on video monitors or on their home TV.  Tell me, that's not something right out of porn.


Also, in the beginning of the video some woman randomly says, "Yes, I will watch my videocassettes."  Who the hell is she talking to or does she just like to announce everything she's about to do before she does it?  So maybe she did say, "Yes, I will watch the Color Me Badd video and rub my couch sexually during it."

Technically, the woman doesn't even say the line because all we see is the text.  I have two theories for this:  she must either be a pretty bad actress because they wouldn't let her say that line or she doesn't speaking English well.  It does kind of sound like something a person would say in broken English.

We haven't even gotten to how outdated the whole videocassettes line is, and the woman only makes it worse by saying "videocassettes" instead of "tape."  Is she sure she doesn't want to use her Betamax player too? 

There are some odd lyrics in the song too.   Color Me Badd sings at one point, "Let me take off all your clothes, disconnect the phone so nobody knows." I think he forgot to tell her to shut off her beeper as well.   It sounds kind of sketchy that a guy would want you to disconnect your phone.  Especially a guy who seems quite determined to "sex someone up."

Better yet, I'd like to see him try to tell a woman  to disconnect her phone now.   It would be like, "Ah yeah, it's not 1991 so I don't have a land line phone and I'm not shutting off my Iphone."

Another perplexing line from the song is "We can do it until we both wake up."  That kind of implies that they're having sleep while they're sleeping, which is just weird.  I didn't think that was possible, but the internet claims that sleep sex is real. 

Lastly, if I ever went up to a woman and told her "I wanna sex you up," I'm positive it wouldn't go as well as it did for Color Me Badd.  I'd probably get slapped, laughed at, emasculated, and never be able to show my face in that place again.  Although, on second thought maybe it's not such a bad idea...

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