Thursday, December 24, 2009

Last Christmas

Wham's 1984 single "Last Christmas" has to be one of the best Christmas songs ever made.  A claim supported by the vast number of artists including Jimmy Eats World, Arctic Monkeys, and the cast of "Glee"(which did a version this year) who have covered it.

Although, the song should just be credited to George Michael's since he wrote it, and Andrew Ridgeley, the other half of Wham,  mooched off it.

The video for the song isn't nearly as good though.  No wonder the brunette woman gave away Michael's heart last Christmas because that looks like one sucky Christmas.  Who wants to go to the middle of nowhere to celebrate Christmas?  I don't see any presents either so I bet Michael offered his heart because he was too cheap to buy real presents.

The brunette woman Michael is pining for looks like one of Kristen Wiig's Midwestern characters for Saturday Night Live.

George Michael gave his heart to the 80s
version of Kristen Wiig

Even worse, his best friend Ridgeley is with the same brunette woman that destroyed Michael's heart the previous Christmas.  What a douche.  Ridgeley must be the worst best friend ever because he doesn't contribute anything to the group, and dates the woman that Micheal was with last Christmas.

It's clear that this a Christmas celebration planned by a gay man (Michael) who wants to minimize the amount of physical contact he has to have with a woman.  That's why he's made sure they're constantly surrounded by other people so he can be like "Oh no, we can have sex anytime.  Let's hit the slopes again or play another game of charades."

It's also likely that the brunette woman found about Micheal's true sexuality the previous Christmas so that's why she gave his heart away.  In fact, maybe the song's lyrics should be "Last Christmas I gave you my heart, the very next day you found out I was gay."

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