Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Ads That Would Never Be Allowed Today


Courtesy of OWNI.eu,  48 ads that are so ridiculous it's hard to believe they were actually used.  I don't think we'll be seeing these on "Mad Men" anytime soon.

Trust me, you really need to see these.  They might be offensive if they weren't so absurd.

Apparently the key to defeating Germany in World War II was the ability to heed warnings like this and stay away from venereal disease.

And women better not messed your postage because Pitney-Bowes stresses dire consequences if they do.

Being an advertising man must have been easy back then.  No subtext, just slap some blatant sexism or racism on a campaign and you're done.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Worst Muppet: Janice


I've made my love of Muppets clear through multiple posts on this blog such as this, this, and this.  It's a fact that Muppets are awesome.

If I can find a reason to mention Muppets then I'm going to do it.  And yes, Sesame Street characters are Muppets.  Don't be a smart ass.

That's why it's hard to believe that I could actually hate a Muppet.  It's against my nature.

Although it's not just any Muppet I hate, it's the worst Muppet ever created: Janice.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Cheryl Cole Coming to America - Update


I've already mentioned here and here the greatness of Cheryl Cole and why she needs to come to America.

Well, now it's practically official that she's coming as a judge on Simon Cowell's US version of "X Factor."  At least according to this article.

It's about time.  Even a bout with malaria earlier this year couldn't stop her.  How many other pop stars have beaten malaria?

Cole's reason enough to at least check out "X Factor."  Although, there's concern that she won't translate to American audiences because middle America may not be able to comprehend her accent.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Nicolas Cage Freaking Out



I could watch this all day.  Nobody I mean nobody freaks out like Nicolas Cage.

It makes me think that some of this isn't acting and he's really that crazy.  I wouldn't want to be the assistant that messed up something for him.

He's like the Incredible Hulk minus the whole turning green and super strength part.

I've never seen "The Wicker Man" but based on those limited clips it seems like it was just an excuse for Cage to punch women in the face.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sesame Street: Cookie Monster Wants to Host Saturday Night Live



Let's be honest, Cookie Monster is probably more entertaining than half of the people who have hosted "Saturday Night Live" so this would be an improvement.

His opening monologue is efficient and his Macgruber parody "Macarooner" was funnier than anything I've seen SNL do this year.

Although that's really not surprising as "Sesame Street" has consistently produced better parodies on things such as Mad Men and Old Spice.

In fact maybe they should just let Sesame Street writers craft a few skits instead of having Cookie Monster host.

Friday, November 19, 2010

How Michael Caine Speaks



It seems like everyone does some sort of De Niro or Pacino impression but what about Michael Caine.  Who doesn't enjoy him?

There really aren't enough good Michael Caine impressions at least until this.  Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon do amazing Michael Caine impressions in this clip from the BBC show "The Trip."

They should have thrown in some Batman dialogue for good measure though.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Receding Hairline Cornrows


They're a true tragedy and I don't know why people insist on getting them.

When your hair is receding, you're just better off admitting defeat instead of making things worse with cornrows.

If anything, the cornrows further expose how far the hair has receded,  and it's strange to see a lot of forehead then cornrows that start several inches back on the head than they should.

The most notorious offenders of this hairstyle are two athletes: Donovan McNabb and Jerry Rice.

It's not a coincidence that they both had the receding cornrows on the downslope of their careers.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Lake Shore the Canadian Jersey Shore




Here comes the downfall of Canadian society,  "Lake Shore."  Think of it like the "Real World" and "Jersey Shore" had a baby, which is something they shouldn't have done because they're first cousins.

The result is "Lake Shore."  I think it's best summed up as: the true story of eight ethnic stereotypes with inappropriate names such as "The Pole" or "The Italian" picked to live in a house full of alcohol.  Find out what happens when people stop being sober and get extremely offensive.

There's going to be a lot of people saying, " let's go oot and party" and "I'm all aboot partying," but probably not many people saying they're "soree."

Oh you silly Canadians, you just had to take one of the worst parts of American culture and try to imitate it.  Nobody wants to be like the Jersey Shore, you're just suppose to laugh at how ridiculous those people are.

While you're at it, try making a reel that's not an absurd eight minutes long.  To view reel in full screen click here.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Trade in Your Breakfast



Kind of random I know, but it's a great commercial even though others might disagree.  And I woke up this morning singing that "trade in your breakfast" song for some odd reason.

Of course, I would never actually trade in my breakfast because that seems like bad business, and I don't accept drinks from random people on the street.

But I do wonder what happened to the "trade in your breakfast" guy from the Dannon Frusion smoothie commercials though.

Did he not get enough people to trade in their breakfast and was fired?

Is that guy now just a crazy homeless man who yells at passersby to trade in their breakfast and if they don't then he accosts them?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Michael Jackson The Experience Video Game



This dance game looks pretty cool although it's only for the Nintendo Wii system.  The trailer is a little disconcerting though.

All those people look way too happy about playing "Michael Jackson The Experience."  I've never seen anybody that enthralled with a video game and it kind of freaks me out.  It's like they're in a cult or something.

Also, if they're doing all that dancing in a high-rise apartment they would never be that happy.

They would get through one song at most before the people below them got pissed and threatened to call the landlord unless they don't stop banging on their ceiling.

There's no mention of it, but I have to assume you get double points for signature Michael Jackson crotch grabs.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Globe Genie


It's just what you need: another cool yet distracting thing on the internet.

Developed by M.I.T grad student Joe McMichael, Globe Genie transports you to any part of the world with just one click via google maps and street view.

It's a personal preference but I find yelling "Yatta" like Hiro Nakamura from "Heroes" every time you click  makes it more enjoyable.

I wouldn't suggest you keep clicking until you are transported to your hometown.  I lost an hour doing that and it still didn't work.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Wojtek the Solider Bear


A bear that fought Nazis, hell yeah.  How come nobody told me about this sooner?

Apparently the Polish Army had a brown bear they dubbed Private Wojtek that served with them during World War II.  It's detailed here.

They acquired the bear as a cub and then seemingly domesticated the bear.  Granted the bear was really more of a mascot than a fighter, but it did help unload artillery during a battle.

Although I'm a little concerned that the article says the bear stood in as a replacement for the wives of soldiers.  You're not suppose to do that type of stuff with bears.

Also, it's kind of disappointed that the U.S. didn't have their own solider bear.  Why didn't they crack that soldier bear?  Maybe they could have trained their bear to use a gun.

You could train a whole bear army.  Then again, bears are already stronger and faster than us so giving then guns might not be the best idea.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Damn You Old Navy Mannequin Commercials


There's not one redeeming thing to say about Old Navy's mannequin commercials.  They're awful on every level yet they continue to be produced.  It's unbelievable.

Manequins making unfunny jokes and breaking body parts wasn't funny the first time so why would it get any funnier the next 500.  I think they've been on TV for over a year at this point.

Is Old Navy doing some psychological experiment to see if they can break our spirits until we actually think they're good commercials?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Sesame Street Old Spice Parody: Smell Like a Monster



There's so many parodies of the Isaiah Mustafa Old Spice Commercial, but clearly this one is the best because it involves "Sesame Street" and Muppets.

"Sesame Street" already proved they could do a great parody with the Mad Men one.

And everything is better with Muppets.  In fact I'd like people a lot more if they were Muppets.

Like that guy on my street with the shopping cart full of cans would probably breakout into an entertaining and educational song about collecting cans if he was a Muppet.

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson when asked what a Muppet is, "Well it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet but man (laughing)... So to answer your question I don't know."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Who's the Most Famous Natural Redhead Woman in Hollywood?


I thought this was an easy question and assumed it would be Emma Stone or Christina Hendricks aka Joan from "Mad Men."

Then I found out that surprisingly they're both not natural redheads. Apparently Stone is a blonde which just seems weird since she's so synonymous with having red hair.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Who Eats Mamba Candy?


I haven't had Mamba candy since the mid 90s.  In fact I'm not even sure if it still exists because I haven't seen it at a store in years.  Although the internet seems to suggest that Mambas still do.

Mambas are kind of like fancy Starbursts that come in a pack of 20 featuring four flavors: strawberry, raspberry, lemon and orange.  

Much like Rolos, I find it hard to believe that many people eat Mambas or consider it their favorite candy.

Although, eating Mambas really does say something about a person.  There are certain types of people who eat them : 

Friday, October 1, 2010

Inception Trailer Acapella


Okay, nobody really wants to hear about "Inception" anymore because it always turns into the same 15 minute philosophical conversation.

 Don't worry, this is just mindless fun with the trailer.   Replacing the music in the trailer with acapella shouldn't be this amusing but it is.

Gets me every time with the BBROOOOOOAAAAAR sound.  The Ellen Page voice is pretty great as well. 

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ten Most Unanswerable Questions in the World


According to a study done by the website Ask Jeeves, they have determined the 10 most unanswerable questions in the world for last decade.  Here's the full list.

Some of these questions are deep existential questions dealing with things such as the meaning of life or if there's a god, but others are just plain stupid.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Jesse Heiman: The Background Nerd


You may not know the name Jesse Heiman but you've probably seen him before.

I don't know why, but this guy seems to pop up in the background of numerous TV shows and movies as an extra that's the token nerd/geek in the background.

Within the last week, I've seen him three different times while watching TV.  He was in the background of "Chuck," "Glee," and "Old School" playing the same part as nerdy guy.

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Japanese Rocketeer Fails



Silly Japanese, don't they know there can only be one Rocketeer and he's American.

This video further proves that all Japanese technology isn't perfect and they should just stick to building disturbing humanoid robots that will eventually over throw us.

The only person who could sympathize with a Rocketeer inspired fail like this would be one of my friends in his younger days.

He was told by his father that he could get any video game he wanted and unfortunately chose "The Rocketeer" video game.  Here's a taste of the awfulness he got.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Don Draper's Off His Game


The 4th season of "Mad Men" has been great as usual but there's something that's really troubling me: Don Draper.  For the first time ever, Draper's off his game with the ladies.

This can't be happening.  The sun is yellow, the sky is blue, and Don Draper never gets denied by women. Those are all facts.

The foundation of my world is starting to crumble.  If this was "Inception," my totem would be Draper always beds the woman, and now I'm seriously questioning reality since he isn't.

I don't know if I can really live in a world where Don Draper gets rejected by women.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Nightlife with Nick Cannon


I stumbled across "The Nightlife" a few nights ago while flipping through the channels.  The sight of Nick Cannon DJing  stopped me in my tracks.

I forgot he even existed.  The next logical question was who the hell would pay him to DJ anything besides a junior high dance?  Then I realized this show was on Teen Nick so I was close.

The smart thing would've been to change the channel but if I had, then I wouldn't be writing this right now.

Eventually I found out what the "The Nightlife" is.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

iSafe Bag Commercial



I hate to break this to Holly Robinson-Peete but I think she made a bad investment with isafe bags.  If she continued to hang with Mr. Cooper, she wouldn't need one.

Unless he went crazy and that's the reason she needs the bag.

A bag with a crappy alarm on it isn't going to stop bullying, pedophiles or creepy guys.  These examples of the situations don't help sell the bag either.

If anything, the isafe bag is only going to motivate people to beat you up even more.  They'll just know to take your bag before they kick your ass.

Friday, August 13, 2010

What is Pretty Boy Swag?



Leave it to Soulja Boy to sound like Stevie from "Malcolm in the Middle" and think it's cool.  Maybe that's just his reading speed though.

I don't know what "Pretty Boy Swag" is, but based on this video it seems to be very similar to the "Down- Low" lifestyle.

Although he raps about women, there is only one woman in the video and he's constantly surrounded by guys.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Yahoo Answers: Where Stupid People Go

yahoo 8.jpg

I'm sure at some point, maybe two seconds after it launched, Yahoo Answers served an intelligent purpose.  But now, it's a magnet for some of the stupidest and weirdest people on the internet.

This blog from geekologie only reinforces it.   I can't believe people this idiotic exist or that they figured out how to use the internet.

But my everyday experience with people, only proves that they do.

My favorite is the 14-year-old girl who wants advice on how to trick the most popular guy in school into getting her pregnant.  She's really into that poking holes in condoms idea.

Don't know about you, but this sounds like the plot to the next hit ABC Family show to me.

Hey maybe if the guy who complains about girls not talking to him on Facebook gets cooler then he can kill two birds with one stone.

Too bad it's not 1999 though, all these people could Ask Jeeves these questions.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Zubaz Pants


Nothing says early 90s like Zubaz.  These zebra print styled pants were an awful fad that is unfortunately back.

Two Minnesota bodybuilders created Zubaz pants in 1988 because they wanted comfortable pants for weightlifting.

I think that says enough about how bad the pants are.  Nobody should be taking style tips from weightlifters in Minnesota.

According to the internet, Zubaz pants are tapered at the ankle, with the outer part of the leg being longer than the inner part.  They also feature an elastic waistband for great flexibility and movement.

Otherwise known as a fancy description for sweatpants with a design on them.  Sweatpants are sweatpants, I don't care what you put on them.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Oregon Trail Fake Movie Trailer



I'll always up for a reason to talk about "The Oregon Trail" because I spent many a day playing it on an Apple IIgs then moved on to a Hewlett Packard with a blazing 14k modem.

And this fake trailer for an "Oregon Trail" movie by comedy group Half Day Today is pretty great.

It highlights most of the funny aspects of game such as putting a funny name on a tombstone, overhunting, and the obligatory dysentery joke.

Although I expected more from the dysentery joke, and it left out things such as the funny accents of townspeople, deciding not to stop for someone's funeral, and oxen constantly getting injured.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Toy Story 3 Meets Inception Trailer



Naturally the two biggest movies of the show need to be combined in one trailer.

Somehow Michael Caine doesn't seem out of place as a pink bear and the stuffing coming out of the elephant in slow motion is pretty cool.

There's enough crazy "Inception" theories out that I'm sure one of them involves "Toy Story 3."

Like maybe "Inception" isn't a real movie and it's just a dream within Woody's mind that we're all trying to steal before Woody wakes up to reveal that he's not a toy but actually Christopher Nolan.

I totally just blew some hipster's mind.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Oh Sheila



"Oh Sheila" by Ready for the World is another one of those great 80s songs you hear on the radio and can't help sing along to.  I may or may not have looked foolish when it came on in my car recently.

The 80s were a great time for generic R&B groups like Ready for the World.  Fortunately the "Oh Sheila" video is not as painful to watch as the "Rock Steady" video.

The members of Ready for the World actually look how you might think they do.  Well only if you imagined that they all rocked the 80s jheri-curl hard, like it was never gonna go out of style.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Surviving Bad Theater and Peep Show


There's not much worse than being stuck at a boring play.  Not all theater is bad but when it is, it's brutal.

You can't help think about the better things you could be doing with your time instead of being in the theater.

The UK comedy "Peep Show" humorously illustrates this unfortunate experience and how to deal with it in this theater scene.   

I especially like the line, "If this was on television, nobody would be watching." Because it's so true.  Next time I'm at a bad play, I'm pretending it's "Bad Boys."

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Does Sookie Stackhouse Own a Pair of Pants?


I'm certainly not complaining that True Blood's Sookie Stackhouse portrayed by Anna Paquin always seems to be wearing short shorts of some kind, but it's kind of weird that she doesn't own jeans or any type of pants.

I don't think she even wore pants until two episodes ago at the werewolf bar and those weren't even her pants.  She borrowed them.

It can't always be so hot in Bon Temp that Sookie never needs to wear pants.  Besides she must get killed by mosquitoes because that place is like a swamp.

There has to be some reason for her aversion to pants.  Here's what I've come up with:

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Creepy Willem Defoe Voiced Polar Bear in the Freezer



No wonder British people eat awful food,  they have sadistic polar bears voiced by Willem Dafoe threatening them in Birds Eye product commercials.

Intimidation and creepiness are usually not the best approach to sell your product.  The polar bear looks and sounds like the snuggle bear's serial killer cousin.

That bear is going to murder that woman if she disobeys him and possibly have his way with her.  I don't really know what that polar bear is capable of.

If I lived in UK, I'd be afraid to open my freezer.  In fact I might not use it all out of fear.

I imagine that the polar bear does something like this Willem Dafoe character but instead yells the words "Eat it, Eat it!" at you.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

That Guy


I apologize in advance because you're going to waste a lot of time on this website.  If you're ever watching TV or a movie and need to figure out who "that guy"is, then this is the website for you.

It features a comprehensive list of "that guys" based on the author's requirement for being "that guy."  They include aspects such as type casting, reminds you of someone more famous and ethnic stereotypes.

Although this list isn't perfect as it seems that it's severely lacking in minorities.  I don't even see a black guy on the list.  Come on, black actors practically invented "that guy."

Every black actor besides Denzel Washington, Terrence Howard, and Don Cheadle, is "that guy" to white people.  Like anybody knows Lorenz Tate and Morris Chestnut by name so they're quintessential "that guys."

Don't lie, I know you just clicked their names and were like "oh, that guy."

Thursday, July 8, 2010

First Male Contraceptive Pill: Professional Athletes Rejoice


This is landmark day for professional athletes, especially NBA players.  The London Telegraph reports that scientists have developed male pill that deactivates sperm before it reaches the womb.

And you'd only have to take this pill once every three months.  Maybe the athletes should have a party to celebrate this but I have a feeling that would just result in more pregnancies which would defeat the whole point.

This pill would probably help former NBA star  Shawn Kemp who has seven kids by six women.

Kemp's nickname was the Reign Man and was quite appropriate because he definitely made it rain with offspring in his spare time.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Purple Drank and JaMarcus Russell

Oh JaMarcus Russell, you couldn't just stop at being one of the worst NFL quarterbacks ever.

You had to drag down the African-American community by playing to a stereotype and being arrested for illegally possessing a codeine syrup that's commonly known as Purple Drank when mixed with things such as 7-Up or Jolly Ranchers .

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Icing Bros Movie Parodies



The whole icing a bro thing is pretty stupid to begin with but in this instance it's pretty amusing.  College Humor made a video that inserts the phenomenon into dramatic scenes in movies such as "The Shining," "Shawshank Redemption," and "Back to the Future II."

The whole "icing" in "Back to the Future II" raises quite the philosophical debate because icing someone could change the whole future.  Like maybe hoverboards do really exist because you messed up the time space continuum by doing it.

And could you just keep going back to the past to deice yourself so you'd never truly be iced.  What if you ice your future self?  These are all important questions that you should be thinking about.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Honda's Amazing Free Kick for Japan in 2010 World Cup


England's David Beckham isn't the only guy who can bend a soccer ball,  Japan's Keisuka Honda is pretty good at it too.

Check out Honda's amazing free kick against Denmark.  It's a great strike, but there's definitely something strange about the Jubalani, the official 2010 World Cup ball.   It knuckles like a Tim Wakefield pitch.

Maybe Honda was thinking about the soccer version of this before he struck the ball. Video after break.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Mr. Spriggs BBQ Commercial



This place must be for people who love their food, maybe a little too much.  You know the people who turn eating into a sexual experience.  Kind of like this.

Then again, who hasn't thought that combining an R&B slow jam with BBQ was a good idea.  I imagine that this is how R. Kelly or Keith Sweat enjoy their BBQ.

I bet Kelly sings "Seems Like Your Ready" to his food before he starts eating.  Hopefully, Kelly doesn't like to piss on his BBQ while eating though.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

New Golden Eye 007 Video Game


In November, Activision will release a brand new Golden Eye game that's exclusively for the Wii.  This is a great / horrible news.

The original Golden Eye was definitely one of the best video games ever made, and the first to make multiplayer fun.

Also, there was nothing quite like telling someone that you were going to chop them to death then doing it and watching how angry that person got about it.

A new game is horrible news because the original nearly derailed my freshman year of college.  I had never played Golden Eye until my friends introduced me to it.

Naturally I got addicted because it was like some sort of gateway drug.  I played it as much as I could to make up for lost time. Not to mention, I was sick of constantly getting my ass kicked in multiplayer.
 
I even started missing classes to play it.  So what I'm saying is, if you find me living in a cardboard box in 2011, then you'll already know what happened to me.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Where to Watch 2010 Fifa World Cup Online




One of the greatest sporting events in the world, the 2010 Fifa World Cup starts today.  It's been four long years, but it's finally back.

If you're not already excited, then maybe the Simpsons soccer clip above can get you pumped for it.

Of course the only problem is that most of the matches take place during work hours.  Don't worry though, you can still keep track of the games by watching them online.

The best option for viewing games is ESPN3.com as they will have almost every World Cup streaming match streaming.  Although if you're like me and your stupid cable company doesn't allow you taccess ESPN 3 then there's another option.

Univision is streaming every single World Cup match for free at UnivisionFutbol.com.  Sure it's only in Spanish, but listening to Spanish announcers might be a better experience because they make everything more exciting.

Holds it, Holds it, Holds it!!! Here's a good example.  My life would be a lot more exciting if a Spanish announcer was doing play by play.

Even the mundane stuff like brushing my teeth would seem cool, and then I could celebrate after everything I did.

Here's some more ways to follow the World Cup online from Mashable.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Lost Explained


If you're still confused about the ending of Lost then this is your lucky day.

Apparently some guy who works at JJ Abrams's  Bad Robot production company has an explanation for the ending and insight into the writers' plan for the series.  Here it is.

Call me crazy, but I still think Richard Alpert's khakis  tie into all this somehow.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Hall and Oates "You Make My Dreams Come True"



It's always a good time to watch Hall and Oates "You Make My Dreams Come True" video. This video really will make all your dreams come true.  Assuming your dreams are awesome mustaches, keyboards  and crazy 80s dancing.

Anybody who doesn't like this video is dead inside, and I feel sorry for them.

Come on, Oates does the twist and shout while playing his guitar.  Nobody does that.  It takes some real talent to pull that off.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Worst Movie Trailers


It's been a long holiday weekend and I'm kind of tired so here's a blog called Worst Movie Trailers of All Time that lets you watch some of the worst movie trailers ever made.

One of them is a movie called "Gooby."  I'm not going to lie, "Gooby" is so strange that it kind of freaks me out.  Who thought that movie would ever be a good idea?

I bet the twist ending is that Gooby was really just some pedophile dressed up in a crazy suit so he could get next to kids.

Is anybody else not surprised that Eugene Levy is in this?  That guy never turns down a movie.  He's probably in half of these worst movie trailers.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Hope Springs Eternal for Hoverboard


HOVERBOARD - NILS GUADAGNIN from nils guadagnin on Vimeo.

After this week's horrible revelation about the hoverboard conspiracy, my dreams had been dashed. But now there's new hope for a hoverboard.

According to Gizmodo, a French artist Nils Guadagnin has created a real working model of a hoverboard.  There's only one problem though, you can't actually stand on it.  But Guadagnin is still my hero for doing this.

He's like the Luke Skywalker of hoverboard development.  If an artist can make a working hoverboard then someone else can definitely make a working one.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Eagle Eye


I would have had something better to post today, but I wasted two hours of my life watching "Eagle Eye" last night.   I really should have known better but I didn't.

The presence of Shia Lebeouf probably should have tipped me off that it would suck.  Including "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," he has stolen at least four hours of my life I can never get back.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hoverboard Conspiracy


I'm glad someone one finally tackled the pressing issue of the hoverboards.  Apparently it wasn't all our imagination that hoverboards were real,  Robert Zemeckis intentionally deceived us into thinking they were.

It's all explained in Josh Cooley's humorous blog about it.  The guy is like the Woodward and Bernstein of hoverboards, although this is way more important than Watergate.

I'd say Zemeckis needs to be punished, but isn't being associated with the movie "Beowulf" really punishment enough.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Songs I Currently Hate


My life would be much better if I never heard any of these songs again.  In no particular order because they all suck equally:

Anything by Ke$ha 
I've already stated my dislike of her or anything associate with her, here.


Jason Derulo "In My Head"
Is there any reason he always has to sing his name to start songs.  If this song was stuck in my head  then death would be an appealing option.  Amazingly managed to make a song worse than "Whatcha Say."


Trey Songz  "Say Aah" 
Say aah this song sucks.  And what makes him think that anybody wants to listen to a song that starts with him telling some dude not to move his car.


Usher  featuring will. i. am "OMG" 
I don't get why it sounds like there's a stadium full of people behind them.  Unless this song is secretly suppose to be a Jock Jam.


B.O.B featuring Bruno Mars "Nothin on You"
Every five minutes this stupid song is on.  It's equivalent to the ramblings of a crazy homeless man in Washington D.C. except the homeless man sounds better.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

An Algorithm That Detects Sarcasm, Yeah Right.


According to the London Telegraph, Israeli researchers have developed a computer algorithm that can pick up sarcasm.  Like that's even possible.  Sure they did.  And I just walked on the Moon.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Timbaland and Magoo: Where is Magoo?


Seriously,  what the hell happened to Magoo?  Magoo being one half of the rap duo, Timbaland and Magoo  It's like Magoo dropped off the map after 2003.

I can't say that I enjoyed Magoo's annoying and whiney rap style, but it's still kind of strange that he just disappeared.  Does Timbaland have him locked up in his basement or something?  

Maybe he realized that Magoo's annoying whiney raps were holding him back.  Where's Robert Stack when you need him?  This is an unsolved mystery.  Oh wait, I think he's dead.

But we still need "Unsolved Mysteries" to show us a creepy reenactment of what might have happened to Magoo.  Then maybe we could find him.

Here's a video of Timbaland and Magoo in action.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Anthony Cooper is John McCain


Has anybody else noticed that the "Lost" character Anthony Cooper looks a lot like John McCain?  The resemblance is uncanny.

This begs all kind of important questions.  For instance, are we all just living in a sideways world where   McCain is the sideways version of Cooper?

Maybe this is why people didn't want to elect McCain president.


Thursday, May 13, 2010

Ecto-Cooler


Ecto-Cooler was one of the greatest cross promotions ever.  In 1987,  Hi-C agreed to promote "The Real Ghostbusters" cartoon series by developing a flavor based on it.

I don't even know if I really liked Ecto-Cooler, but I drank it because it was associated with Ghostbusters and had Slimer on the front.  It only tasted good when it was really cold, which probably says something about the taste.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

You Shit On My House



This scene from "Can't Buy Me Love" is classic.  No matter how times you watch it,  it never gets old.

But a little background is needed to fully enjoy the scene.  When Ronald Miller (Patrick Dempsey) became popular,  one might say he "shit on" his friends.  Especially on his best friend Kenneth because he helped the jocks throw dog shit at Kenneth's house on Halloween.

Now that Ronald is uncool again,  he's trying to apologize to him.  To be fair,  I think I'd get as mad as Kenneth if someone messed up my 1980s motorcycle arcade game.

And sometimes I just like to walk around and randomly yell "you shit on my house" at people I don't know because it's fun.



Thursday, May 6, 2010

Can't Buy Me Love Shows That You Can Really Buy Love



The 80's teen film  "Can't Buy Me Love" only proves that you can buy love.

For those unfamiliar, it features a young Patrick Dempsey as nerd Ronald Miller who seeks to improve his social standing by bribing the most popular girl in school, Cindy Mancini to pretend to go out with him for a month.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

OK Go Parody "Mousetrap Never Works"



This video parodies OK Go's super complicated "This Too Shall Pass Video" by highlighting the game Mousetrap and it's inability to work correctly.

The parody makes sense because you need the same team of technical experts from OK Go's video to make Mousetrap actually work.

Just thinking about all time I wasted trying to get that stupid game to work is making me angry again.

Mousetrap wasn't a game, it was a cruel psychological experiment to see how much frustration a kid could take before he or she lost it.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Dutch Augmented Reality Billboard



Via Mashable,  the Dutch government has installed an interactive billboard with augmented reality that places bystanders in the middle of a street fight.

The billboard, which was placed in a busy Amsterdam intersection, was designed to combat the growing problem of Dutch public employees being harassed while doing their job and on lookers doing nothing to stop it.


The idea is that people will be so ashamed of watching themselves in this situation that they'll help when it really does happen.

This is really cool concept, but minorities better watch out.  Now it's possible to place a minority at the scene of every crime. I could see something like this happening: "I didn't cross the border that's just augmented reality.

But on a good note,  now
Jay Kay from Jamiroquai can't keep hogging virtual insanity all to himself. 

Thursday, April 29, 2010

HTC Droid Incredible Released for Verizon Today


I've been following the release of the HTC Droid Incredible for a couple of months, but that's mainly because my phone is so old that it's like the cell phone equivalent of a rotary phone.  

Seriously,  it still has a pull up antenna.  To put my phone in perspective, I got it before "Lost" premiered and people still thought Ashlee Simpson was talented.  

Anyway,  the Droid Incredible finally gives Verizon a good phone.  It's pretty much an HTC / Verizon branded version of Google's Nexus One, which is why  Google probably canceled the Verizon Nexus One. 

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Stupid Lyrics: Young Money's Bedrock


Lyrics aren't always the most important part of a song, but it makes you wonder if people would still like their favorite songs once they actually sat down and read some of the absurd lyrics.

A good example of this is Young Money's "Bedrock."

Friday, April 23, 2010

Facebook: A Dysfunctional Friendship


Does Facebook need to be involved in everything you do?  Apparently, it thinks so.  Earlier this week, the company announced that they will personalize your internet experience by allowing websites and apps to integrate profile information from your Facebook account so they know your tastes and interests.

In plain English it means that Facebook has turned you and me into a digital whore and they're our pimp collecting the money.  I'm not really a fan of Facebook's increasing tendency to offer up users' information to other sources as a default setting.

Of course, Facebook would argue that they're more like a good friend who is trying to help you get a better experience.  I'll humor them and look at my interaction with Facebook as a friendship.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

11 Best Deep-Voiced Boyz II Men Monologues


It's about time someone recognized the great spoken word talent of Boyz II Men's baritone-voiced Michael McCary.  Much like Barry White, this is a guy you'd want around on Whacking Day.

Here it is, the 11 best deep-voiced Boyz II Men monologues aka McCary's greatest hits along with some amusing commentary.  Now excuse me while I try to find the talkboy "Home Alone 2" tricked me into wasting my money on as a kid so I can find out if these spoken-word pleas still work as well as they did in the 90s.

Friday, April 16, 2010

BlackBuster Movie: Why Do Fools Fall in Love?


How do I know "Why Do Fools Fall in Love" is a Blackbuster?  I actually watched it when it was featured as BET's Blackbuster movie for the night.

Even if I didn't, two things would have tipped me off: the only white guy with a semi-significant part turns out to be evil and Vivica A. Fox has a major role.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Don't Think This Is How You Get HIV



Listen,  I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure these billboards for freeHIVtest.net that have popped up around Los Angeles aren't medically accurate.  Last time I checked, you don't get HIV from drinking alcohol.

Unless you're living in the "Rent" apartment building,  then there's a good chance you might.  At least, you'll get to sing about it though.

And do you really want people saying "I drank so much, I think I have HIV"?  Yeah, me neither.

Also, accusing people of needing an HIV test on a billboard isn't exactly the best idea.  It's the equivalent of walking down the street and stopping random people to tell them that they look like they need to get tested for HIV.  Oddly enough, people don't like that.

 So stop judging me billboard because I really don't know why.

Friday, April 9, 2010

PS22 Chorus Sings Phoenix's "Lisztomania"



Kids from the PS22 Chorus sing a version of Phoenix's "Lisztomania" that even the band endorses.  Here's the original Phoenix version for comparison.

All I got to sing in music class or mandatory chorus were songs like "When you Brush Your Teeth" or "Buffalo Girls"

And that was only in between praying I wouldn't be the unlucky person called to the board that day who's forced by the teacher to stare at a blank staff for an uncomfortable amount of time because he or she has no clue what to do.

Naturally that's the best way to learn music theory, oh wait it isn't because I don't remember a thing.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Lost: Richard Alpert's Khakis


"Lost" fans finally got some answers about Richard Alpert in the episode "Ab Aeterno," but it failed to address one of my pressing questions: What's the deal with Alpert and khakis?

The guy has been wearing khakis for like a 100 years.  In fact, he always seems to be wearing the same khakis.  You would think he would get tired of them.  Does he really like them that much?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Geminoid-F: Stop Trying to Replace Us Japan


Why are the Japanese always trying to make humans obsolete?  I swear it's their national goal for some reason.

Engadget reports that roboticist Hiroshi Ishiguro displayed the Germinoid-F humanoid this weekend, a life like woman robot that is designed to mimic human facial expressions that are fed into a computer.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Next Big Sound


Have you ever wanted an easy way to figure out how much buzz a band is building?  If so, you should check out the analytics website The Next Big Sound.  By compiling statistics from social media sites such as MySpace, Last.fm, iLike, Facebook, Twitter, and Bebo to determine a band's or artist's popularity.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Local Natives - Gorilla Manor


I highlighted the LA band Local Natives and their "Daytrotter EP" in this space back in September.   At the time, they had finished recording their full length album "Gorilla Manor," but didn't have a US release date for it yet.

Well now, this band is starting to generate some serious buzz.  It finally released "Gorilla Manor" on February 16th and followed up last year's successful appearance at the South by Southwest Festival with another one at SXSW 2010.

The album lives up to the promise of the EP and even features all five songs from the EP (including an amazing cover of the Talking Heads' "Warning Sign" which I forgot to mentioned before).

In addition to those five songs, there are nine new ones such as "Wide Eyes," "Camera Talk," and "Cubism Dream."  Overall, it's a quality album if you're into their style of music.

I'm not all that familiar with Fleet Foxes, but I'm told Local Natives kind of have a similar same sound.

Check out Local Natives' performance at SXSW 2010 here and judge for yourself.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Hugh Jackman Dancing Lipton Ice Tea Commercial



Well ice tea just got as confusing as Hugh Jackman's sexuality .  In this Japanese Lipton Ice Tea commercial, Jackman dances in a hotel to express his love for ice tea.

Stuff like this, is really suppose to convince us how heterosexual Jackman is?  And he wears Hawaiian shirts without being a big fat party animal.  Nobody really cares if he's gay, it's just annoying that he won't admit it.

I like ice tea as much as anyone else, but it's not a valid excuse to launch into a choreographed dance number.  Although, it does make for a pretty entertaining commercial.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Get Your March Madness Fix


One of the greatest times of the year is upon us: March Madness.  The NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament is like a second Christmas for basketball fans or first for some I guess.

Over the last couple of years, it's become easier for fans to get their March Madness fix online as March Madness on Demand allows fans to watch tournament games online.  It's not so good for work productivity, but great if you don't want to miss any of the action.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Rock-Paper-Scissors Glove


Engadget highlights a glove that's specifically made for rock-paper-scissors . Sure nobody actually needs one but it's still kind of cool.  The glove allows you to play rock-paper-scissors against yourself, and it even identifies your tendencies or weakness in the game.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Rock Steady



The Whispers 1987 hit "Rock Steady" is one of those catchy songs you'll randomly hear on the radio but have no clue who the artist is because you don't yet have an Iphone.  It's your quintessential 80's R&B song, but it was a lot better before I actually saw the music video.

I never imagined the song was sung by a bunch of middle-aged guys with creepy facial hair that appear to be the only black guys that can't dance.  Look at them, they dance like a father embarrassing his children at a high school dance.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Just Follow Your Nose


I always knew that Toucan Sam was on to something when he told me to follow my nose.  He wasn't just selling Fruit Loops, he was giving life advice according to this Daily Mail story that says that a person's nose says a lot about him or her.


Obviously this is something you have take with a grain of salt, but it's still interesting.  At least it was until I thought about how much better eating a bowl of Fruit Loops would be right now than reading this and lost interest.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Smash Mouth in the Closet


I'm usually a harsh critic of SNL not being funny most of the time, but the SNL skit "Smash Mouth Terrors" is actually funny.  It's completely random which makes it even better.

There really wouldn't be many things scarier than Smashmouth actually coming out of your closet except for Courtney Love or these guys.

If Lost Was Like Baywatch



Someone showed this to me, and it's pretty great.  They both take place near water and have lots of shirtless people so it kind of makes sense.

The only way it could have been better was if it had a shot of the smoke monster killing people followed by a quick cut to a bunch of characters laughing.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Everybody is Big Brother


You're the biggest threat to your privacy.   By using social media sites to constantly inform peers of your interests, beliefs, locations, opinions, and life details, it means almost anyone can watch you like Big Brother,  the all seeing and all knowing fictional dictator from George Orwell's novel Nineteen Eighty-Four

In fact it's downright scary how similar social media has made modern society to Orwell's vision of it.   Individuals suffer real world consequences for actions or content posted on sites such as Facebook and Twitter because unknown to them, authorities are surreptitiously monitoring them.    

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

This Creeps Me Out



Since I had the unfortunate experience of stumbling upon this and being freaked out, I'm going to make you suffer with me.  There's just something so creepy about live-action My Little Ponies singing show tunes.  

Any kids who see this are going to be traumatized for life.  The only thing Little Ponies should be are delicious yet cavity causing fruit snacks.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Cheryl Cole is a Free Woman


Besides being just another excuse to show this picture of Cheryl Cole, The Guardian reports that Cheryl Cole has left her husband, Chelsea soccer player Ashley Cole.  It's really about time as this guy has been stupid enough to cheat on her multiple times, which is ridiculous because it's always a downgrade from Cheryl Cole.

This also means that now there's a really good chance that Cheryl Cole will be coming to America.  She's even been spotted in LA viewing property.  Too bad Britain, we're stealing her.

We should celebrate this event or welcome her by doing something like
this.  I'm sure she's really coming to America because she's noticed my campaign to get her here.

So Cheryl, you're saying I have a chance?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

School Uses Webcams to Secretly Watch Students


Much like Rockwell, these students have to feel somebody is always watching them.

From Mashable, a school in Pennsylvania's Lower Merion School District is accused of using webcams on school-issued laptops to spy on students and their families at home.

The school even punished a student based on actions that were recorded via the webcam during non-school hours.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

How Do You Talk to an Angel?



Bet you didn't know that "How Do You Talk to an Angel" by The Heights knocked Boyz II Men's "End of Road," which at the time had set a new record for most weeks at number one on the Billboard charts with 13 weeks,  out of the top spot in 1992.

Yep, just let that sink in for a moment.  America should hang its head in shame for that one, especially since it's a theme song from a TV show, and The Heights weren't even a real band.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sweetheart Candies, No Thank You


Valentine's Day comes up this weekend, and with that comes the unfortunate presence of Sweethearts.  The heart-shaped candies with messages such as "Be Mine" and "Kiss Me" are synonymous with the holiday even though they taste awful.

Allegedly the candies' formula consists of sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, gums, colorings, and flavorings, but I'm pretty sure Sweethearts must be made of chalk because that's what they taste like.

Or maybe since Necco's headquarters are based in Revere, that's just the taste of Revere Beach water.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Boyz II Men Motownphilly and Lebron James



It's always a good time to watch Boyz II Men's video "Motownphilly."  Not only is it early 90s R&B in its heyday, but the video features the brightly colored sports coats and sweaters of the era as well.

It's clear that Lebron James must be a huge fan of this time period because he's single handedly attempting to bring that clothing style back.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

When It's Okay to Eat Food Off the Floor


Courtesy of SF Weekly, a chart that helps you decide when you can eat food off the floor.  It seems to be a little too preoccupied with cats and food so I don't like the direction it's going in.

Unfortunately, it doesn't even address the most pressing question: When can you eat candy off the floor?  For instance,  you get some Skittles and rip the bag open only for precious red Skittles to fall to the floor.

Do you attempt to salvage them at the risk of losing other people's respect or just move on?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Kid Casting

From Kid Casting,  The Royal Tenenbaums

Do you ever find yourself wondering just how well a movie has cast the part of Jack Black during a flashback?  If so, you'd be interested in the website Kid Casting which features side by side screen grabs of the adult and flashback versions of a character in a movie.

The site could be more detailed, but it's still quite the amusing site and time waster.  You could spend a half hour looking through these things.

Also, it's a good demonstration of how little or how much the casting director cared about getting someone that actually looked like the adult actor.  For instance, they usually do a good job on Jack Black's flashback.

This is really good news for the guy whose life highlight was portraying a young Brad Pitt, but nobody ever believes him.  All he'd have to do is whip out his smartphone, and I bet some girl would sleep with him based on his work as a young Brad Pitt.  Well, unless he got fat because then she'd just laugh in his face.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Let Friends Point Out Your Flaws


Mashable details Failin.gs, an application that allows friends to anonymously post their opinions on what your flaws or defects are.  So basically it makes it easier for all the people who have a problem with you to gang up and attack you.

Just wait until junior high school kids get a hold of this, it isn't going to be pretty.  Those kids are ruthless. Allegedly, you can restrict access to this app to only friends, but somehow I think that's not always going to work.

Even worse, you'll get paranoid about which friend said you're kind of slutty or smell bad and start accusing all your friends. You'll be crazier than Russell Crow in "A Beautiful Mind."  That's not even counting the friends who'll get drunk and decide to be really mean.

I'd just assume it was everybody and kick ass like I was a blind one-armed man with a shotgun because that just sounds badass.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What You Should be Watching: The Inbetweeners



You should be watching "The Inbetweeners" because it's like a British version of "Freaks and Geeks" mixed with "American Pie" or "Superbad."   I know, I know another British show, but chances are you're not watching many British shows to begin with.

The half-hour comedy, which just began airing its first season on BBC America, centers on Will who must adjust to his new life at a public high school because his mother could no longer afford to pay his tuition at the private high school he was attending.