Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sweetheart Candies, No Thank You

Valentine's Day comes up this weekend, and with that comes the unfortunate presence of Sweethearts.  The heart-shaped candies with messages such as "Be Mine" and "Kiss Me" are synonymous with the holiday even though they taste awful.

Allegedly the candies' formula consists of sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, gums, colorings, and flavorings, but I'm pretty sure Sweethearts must be made of chalk because that's what they taste like.

Or maybe since Necco's headquarters are based in Revere, that's just the taste of Revere Beach water.

Sweethearts have a long history as they go as far back as 1902.  But, you're really going to trust the discriminating tastes of people back then?  They would have put sugar on feces and called it good candy.

I can't believe that anyone actually likes Sweethearts yet they're still around.  Mainly because of the gimmick messages on them, but last time I checked, giving someone bad tasting candy with generic messages on them isn't romantic.  In fact, it's sufficient grounds for dumping your significant other.

Although, maybe the real lesson here is that we need Sweethearts.  Constantly pretending to be grateful for this disgusting candy each year, teaches people how to effectively hide their disappointment when their boyfriend or girlfriend gets them a bad Valentine's Day gift.

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