Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Lost: Richard Alpert's Khakis

"Lost" fans finally got some answers about Richard Alpert in the episode "Ab Aeterno," but it failed to address one of my pressing questions: What's the deal with Alpert and khakis?

The guy has been wearing khakis for like a 100 years.  In fact, he always seems to be wearing the same khakis.  You would think he would get tired of them.  Does he really like them that much?

I'm pretty sure there's not a Gap on the Lost Island, although stranger things have happened there so who knows.  But that still wouldn't explain why no one else besides Alpert wears khakis.

Other people like them too.  In fact, I think Jack is starting to believe this candidate stuff because he wants his own pair of khakis.

Maybe a cargo ship full of khakis washed up on the Island at some point and he's hoarding them for himself.  Jacob brought the ship to the Island because he knew how much Alpert liked them.

Don't touch my khakis

Another theory is that the khakis give Alpert his immortality because Jacob's gift of life came in the form of those pants.  It would explain why Alpert always wears them.  Alpert's khakis might be like the Green Lantern's ring or He-Man's sword.

It's also possible that Jacob just wanted his representative to look good, and nothing represents like a man wearing khakis.  Besides, it's the perfect type of pants for the Island.  Dressy enough to say I'm important, but loose enough to run away from the Smoke Monster.

Twist ending, the Island is just one big pair of khaki pants.

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