Thursday, May 27, 2010

Eagle Eye


I would have had something better to post today, but I wasted two hours of my life watching "Eagle Eye" last night.   I really should have known better but I didn't.

The presence of Shia Lebeouf probably should have tipped me off that it would suck.  Including "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," he has stolen at least four hours of my life I can never get back.



Trust me, this movie is worse than you could ever imagine.  It involves a government super intelligence gathering computer named Eagle Eye that goes rogue and has decided to eliminate the whole executive branch.

Oh yeah, it's as stupid as that last sentence sounds.  Obviously,  nothing spells excitement like a stationary evil super computer as your villain.

Apparently nobody thought of a way to shut down this machine, so it takes two boring hours to determine that all you have to do is smash it with a metal rod.

Paint drying is more exciting than this movie.  And the computer conjures up some super-complicated assassination plot involving a children's band, a trumpet, The State of the Union Address and some crystal explosive when it could have just launched a missile and killed everyone.

Now only if I had the Prince of Persia's Dagger of Time to prevent myself from ever watching "Eagle Eye," but judging by the look of Jake Glyenhall, steroids are the only thing in that dagger.

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