Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Nightlife with Nick Cannon

I stumbled across "The Nightlife" a few nights ago while flipping through the channels.  The sight of Nick Cannon DJing  stopped me in my tracks.

I forgot he even existed.  The next logical question was who the hell would pay him to DJ anything besides a junior high dance?  Then I realized this show was on Teen Nick so I was close.

The smart thing would've been to change the channel but if I had, then I wouldn't be writing this right now.

Eventually I found out what the "The Nightlife" is.

It's really just a bad combination of "The Grind,""Soul Train," and "American Bandstand."

As well as a strong indication that America's future is bleak.  Kids really are getting dumber.

It features teenagers and hired dancers dancing in a studio to popular music that Cannon plays while the song's music video is on a big screen TV and has a live musical performance at the end.

Parents, not a great idea to let your teenage daughters be here.  You really want them near Cannon, the one night a week that Mariah Carey lets him be around people closer to 20 than 40?

Ready to Wild Out with Teenagers
Oh and Cannon is suppose to keep you up to date on the latest in style, music, and dance which he does with the help of his two teenage co hosts who just happen to be on his record label. Well this is how they put:

The male co-host goes by the absurd name of Aaron Fresh, and I can only assume he does because he thinks he's so fresh.  This kid couldn't be trying any harder to be the black Justin Bieber.

He should know better though.  There will never be a black Bieber because no black kid can pull off the Bieber bowl cut.

Your world would so be my world
 if I had a bowl cut

And just when you think this show can't get any worse, it ends with a contrived dance circle that rips off  "Dance 360" as Cannon awkwardly cheers on a hired dancer who dances in the middle.

No wonder Cannon's acting career is nonexistent, he can't even sell that he's enjoying this dance circle.

The only solace I can take is that maybe Kel watched this, flipped out, and is actively plotting his revenge.

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