Thursday, August 5, 2010

Zubaz Pants

Nothing says early 90s like Zubaz.  These zebra print styled pants were an awful fad that is unfortunately back.

Two Minnesota bodybuilders created Zubaz pants in 1988 because they wanted comfortable pants for weightlifting.

I think that says enough about how bad the pants are.  Nobody should be taking style tips from weightlifters in Minnesota.

According to the internet, Zubaz pants are tapered at the ankle, with the outer part of the leg being longer than the inner part.  They also feature an elastic waistband for great flexibility and movement.

Otherwise known as a fancy description for sweatpants with a design on them.  Sweatpants are sweatpants, I don't care what you put on them.

During the early 90s, the popularity of Zubaz pants exploded as they were embraced by the sports community.  The pants were sold in team colors so if you were a Green Bay Packers fan you could get green and yellow colored Zubaz.

Even Hall of Fame NFL quarterbacks like Dan Marino,  John Elway and Troy Aikman were wearing them.

That's almost reason enough to yank them from the Hall of Fame or at the very least they should get an asterisk next to their name that says "wore Zubaz pants."

Don't Mess with Marino's Zubaz Pants

I'm ashamed to admit that I once owned a pair of these pants but it wasn't my fault.  I was only a young kid and my mom should have denied my request.

Wearing Zubaz isn't really a fashion statement, it's more of a life statement.  It says that you've completely given up on life and trying to impress anybody, especially women.

Also, it indicates that you're kind of trashy and the middle-aged guy that creeps out your neighbor's teenage daughter.  Either that or you're a douchey frat boy who thinks they're so hilarious for wearing them.

See what I mean here.  Sad yet funny.

                      I'm guessing that woman is blind because there's
                      no way she'd wear Zubaz pants or date a guy
                      wearing them.

Eventually Zubaz went bankrupt in 1996 and the nightmare was over. Although in 2007, the company resurfaced and of course the Midwest still loves them.

But to be fair, I don't think the Midwest ever realized that Zubaz went out of style because they were so busy using their dial-up modems that nobody could call them.

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