Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Thoughts About Euro 2012 So Far

We're through the first two rounds of Euro 2012 and into the semi-finals so these are my thoughts so far.

1. Michael Ballack is the German Matt Damon 

I'm not the first person to ever recognize this resemblance, but it's crazy how much former German national team player Michael Ballack looks like Damon.  It really stands out now that you see him dressed up for his ESPN studio work during Euro 2012.

It's like the Treadstone program from the "Bourne Identity" is real and it produced a German clone of Damon.  I wonder if Ballack has a best friend that's the German Affleck who nobody likes quite as much as Ballack.

2.  Almost Every Team has a Random Black Player

Even teams such as Czech Republic, Sweden, and Germany have a black player.   Diversity is a good thing, but part of me thinks it also serves another purpose.  When notroiously bad soccer crowds racially abuse black players from other teams they can say, "Us racist? What are you talking about?  Some of our best players are black."

3.  Younger Euro Managers Dress Like It's Time to Hit the Club

Germany manager Jogi Loew
These games are just the warm up for managers who are ready to hit the club or discoteca afterward.  It seems they all wear a standard uniform of a white dress shirt, no tie, and dark dress pants.  The poster boy for this look is Germany's manager Jochaim "Jogi" Loew.

His assistants follow suit so they all look like those European guys in a club who are grinding up on every girl they can.  So ladies keep in mind that this guy could be a European national team manager, but most likely it's just a sketchy guy you should get away from.

4.  The Euro 2012 Intro Song Kind of Sounds like Mr. Saxobeat

It's not dead on, but I think you can hear the similarities.  Here's the Euro 2012 intro song compared to "Mr. Saxobeat."  I have discussed "Mr. Saxobeat" before.  Oh Eastern Europe and your love for clubby techno music.  It's like they have one basic song, but the song keeps getting tweaked just enough to make it seem as if it's a brand new song.

5.  The Real Winners of Euro 2012 are Coldplay

If you hate soccer and Coldplay then Euro 2012 is your worst nightmare. ESPN feels the need to set every major soccer tournament to United Kingdom or Irish stadium rock.  Previously it was U2, but now Coldplay has taken over.  A montage of all the action of the day is usually set to Coldplay music. The correct answer to who's playing at the Euros today will always be: Coldplay.


  1. hilarious - great post! #1 had me saying "that's what i said years ago!!!" and #3 just had me laughing so hard i probably woke the neighbors! good stuff

  2. Hi, I'm so glad someone has also noticed the similarities of the Euro 2012 opening theme and Mr. Saxobeat.