Friday, August 24, 2012

Dog Shaming Tumblr is Pretty Great

Dogs probably do not understand the concept of being publicly shamed, but that doesn't make a tumblr called Dogshaming any less amusing.

Dog owners post pictures of their dogs with a note explaining the bad behavior of the dog such as pooping in a hat or chewing on old tampons.

Some of the dogs actually do look shameful or remorseful while others just don't care.  If anything it just proves "Animals are not like people.  Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life or have been mistreated.  But like people some of them are just jerks."

Friday, August 17, 2012

Hey Man That's Spandau Ballet Chevy Commercial

Chevrolet's commercial for its 2012 Malibu Eco is awful.  It certainly didn't help matters that it played during every Olympics commercial break.

Listening to a bunch of tone deaf people sing doesn't make me want to buy a car.  It just makes me hate those people.

If I wanted to hear middle-aged yuppies sing off key,  I'd go to a dueling piano bar.

Friday, August 10, 2012

James Bond Playing Video Game in Never Say Never Again

Leave it to an 80s Bond film, 1983's "Never Say Never Again" to feature James Bond trying to settle matters by playing a video game.

There's nothing quite like watching a highly trained government agent ignore all his skills to participate in a video game competition.  A 52-year-old Sean Connery must have been thrilled with that scene. 

If this scene were true to life,  both of those guys would constantly be looking down at the game controls and complaining that the game didn't make sense while accidentally shooting at themselves.  

Friday, August 3, 2012

Thoughts About London 2012 Summer Olympics

1.  Every four years pedophiles and the general public enjoy the same thing: women's gymnastics 

It's during this brief time period that it's seemingly okay to take a vested interest in the activities of half dressed teenage girls and follow as well as analyze their every move.  It's like Halloween for pedophiles as they don't stick out as much as they normally would.  Remember, during the Olympics this is called Olympic spirit, but anytime afterwards it's just creepy.

2.  Constipated gymnastic announcers

Gymnastics and commenters who sound like they're straining themselves on the toilet go hand and hand.   They say things such as "Oh that hurts. It's gonna be a half point deduction for breathing.  She's really had trouble with that."  These people really need some Metamucil.  Of course, the straining might be better than the audio orgy that happens after a good performance.  It features so many yells of "yes, yes" that I'm not quite sure what I'm watching anymore.

3.  Enough with the Chariots of Fire theme song

They play the Chariots of Fire theme song after every medal presentation and it's getting tiresome.  I hate to break it to Great Britain, but the rest of us don't think the song is still as epic and great as you do.  I mean maybe people did in 1981 when "Chariots of Fire" was released, but the rest of us have moved on so you should too.  Although I guess if my nation wasn't very good at the Olympics anymore and all I had to hold on to was a triumph in 1924 that was made into an Oscar winning movie,  I'd grasp at straws too.  

4. Australia keeps naming their swimmers after weapons 

Before there was Australian swimmer Ian Thrope nicknamed "The Thorpedo" and now there's swimmer James "The Missile"  Magnussen.  Considering Australia almost never performs as well as they're supposed to at the Olympics, maybe they should spend less time making up nicknames like they're the Ismail brothers of swimming.   In fact that should be a lesson, if you keep naming yourself things like rocket, missile, and bomb like the Ismail brothers then you're bound to never live up to the lofty expectations.

5.  Another frighting Olympic Mascot

London Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville will be in children's nightmares for years to come.  If the plan was to terrify children into watching the Olympics then they have succeeded.  Nothing says Olympics like a mascots with a giant eye for a face so they always knows if you're watching or not.  They look like  bad guys on a "Doctor Who" episode who have come to earth under the guise of the Olympic games but really want to enslave us.