Friday, August 14, 2015

Six Takeaways From True Detective Season 2

Season two of True Detective was a divisive show.  Some people loved it while others hated it.  Here are my six takeaways from it: (spoilers below if you haven't seen the show yet)

1. Weird Sex Hugs Result in Babies

There were a lot of weird things this season on True Detective this season, but the weird pre sex hug between Bezzerides (Rachel McAdams) and Velcoro (Colin Farrell) may have taken the cake.

It went on much longer than it should have, and was uncomfortable to watch like junior high kids trying to figure out what to do with their bodies.  That said, you can't argue with its one and done baby making results.

2.  It Doesn't Take Much to Get a Highway Named After Person

Wait, why did Paul Woodrugh (Taylor Kitsch) get his own Highway?  I mean sure he died in a tragic fashion, but people still also thought he solicited a blow job from that actress.  That's not highway worthy at all.

Technically, he didn't do anything all impressive in his job and he was assigned to working fraud cases. There is a more important question though: Is his highway one of the myriad of highways featured as cut scenes in the show?

3. You're Better Off Getting Diddled by a Hippie Guy in a Van if You Want to Live

Hear me out on this one.  All of the characters that died did so because they fell prey to their Achilles' heel: Woodrugh because he couldn't accept he was gay, Velcoro because he couldn't let go of his son, and Semyon (Vince Vaughn) because he couldn't back down from a fight / being disrespected.

Bezzerides' weak spot was getting molested as a child.  Now as bad as that was, it wasn't anything active that got her killed or stalled her get away.

4. The Future of Velcoro's Son Chad

The possibilities are endless.  Does he ever watch all the episodes of Friends?  Maybe he makes a friend or two at school and they write and act out weird Friends fan fiction.

Maybe the Velcoro badge starts talking to Chad and telling him to do things like solve crimes.   People think he's crazy, but with the badge's help, he can solve any crime.  I smell a spinoff here.

5. What Was the Point of That Annoying Singer in the Bar?

By far, the worst part of this season of True Detective was that depressing female singer droning on in the bar.  As a friend aptly put it, she made Tori Amos seem like Taylor Swift.

Maybe she was there to "set the mood," but that easily could have been done with recorded music.

Only if there had been a payoff where a stray bullet hit the singer  or Semyon shoots her for being so depressing.

6. Do It Yourself Special Ops

Listen, forget about all that crazy Special Ops training.  It's a waste of time.  As Semyon and Velcoro proved, if you put your mind to it then you can do it.  No training necessary.

The operation to steal the money from the Russians couldn't have gone smoother.  I get Woodrugh being able to do this stuff because he had the experience and training, but don't quite understand how Semyon and Velcoro do it like pros.

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